Asher started kindergarten this year. He has struggled with the daily structure and requirements. I did not expect this, and I am not sure what to do.
More often than not, Asher brings home bad reports. He struggles to complete his work, follow instructions, or listen to his teachers. He is considered by his teacher to be "the most misbehaved" in the class. We have counseled, disciplined, and grounded him to no avail. We started a reward program to encourage positive behavior; it has helped at home but not at school.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong. My heart breaks to think he is struggling. Are we not conveying the importance of school? Are we not teaching him to be a kind and respectful little boy? I just don't understand.
Today we discussed his behavior, and why he didn't want to do his work. He said he couldn't do it; he didn't understand it. I can understand if he is frustrated at times and doesn't want to complete it, but I find it hard to believe that is the case every day. But maybe I'm wrong.
I really don't have an answer, but I need one. Where do I go from here?
1 comment:
Oh, you poor thing! I know how it breaks your heart. And everything our children do feels like a reflection of our parenting. Which isn't true, by the way. :)
Before you can figure out how to change his behavior, you need to find out why he's acting the way that he's acting. Is he getting "cool guy" attention from the other kids for being "bad"? Is he on the young side for kindergarten (I don't think so, but can't remember)? Some boys just take a bit longer to be ready for school. Is he really not ready for the work academically and rather than focus on that, he just goofs off? Have you had his vision checked? Does he misbehave in other situations, like Primary? In other words, does this just seem like his character (funny guy/class clown, etc.) or does this seem out of the norm? Is it the teacher that he clashes with? Sometimes teachers just peg kids that they just don't like and then that child can do no right, no matter what. There are just so many variables.
Put into place a consequence system for misbehavior, and stick to it matter-of-factly, but other than that give it absolutely no more attention. Praise (but not fake over-the-top praise) all good behavior whether at school or at home. The behavior that gets the attention is the one that will be repeated, unless there is some underlying cause that you don't know about, physically, mentally, or emotionally. Maybe you and Trevor can have a PPI with him and he can set some goals (short term) for his behavior at school and other things too. Maybe Trevor could give him a blessing.
Don't know if I'm being helpful. I've certainly had issues with different kids, but you have to really pray to know what's going on in his little heart, and what he needs.
Love you.
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